TRIGGER WARNING: suicide, death, depression
Sometimes we think that the world is unfair. Some people might even say that the world hates them for dumping all the negative characteristics on them. But is that really the case, or is it only what society tells us? Whatever it is, remember that you do not need to consider everything you hear and see. Break the mold, you are perfect.
"Whatever it is, remember that you do not need to consider everything you hear and see. Break the mold, you are perfect."
Photo from Adobe Stock
Growing up in a society that dictates what is good and not for someone is quite problematic. We are taught in childhood what a “proper” boy or girl should play, which color should be our favorites, and how we should present ourselves. And as we grow older, we are taught a lot of things that, assessing deeper, make us feel less of ourselves.
Isn’t it painful to know that a huge percentage of the 700,000 suicide cases each year is because of the feeling of not being enough — not being wealthy enough, not being good enough, not being beautiful enough, not cool enough? But today, we are saying ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.
In this article, we will be showing you why we should start breaking free from the toxic mentality of people and the irrational judgment from society in general. We know that you are already tired of everything, but make sure to read until the end because this will surely get you on your feet (again).
The STEM Notion
In the Philippines, students who pursue careers in the Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics (STEM) field are regarded as the “geniuses” of society. If you tell someone that you are taking Medicine in your post-graduate studies, people will immediately be “wowed” just by hearing it. But please do not mistake this as downplaying because, of course, we acknowledge the contribution of medical experts in society.
This, however, points out the unfair treatment for people who pursue careers in humanities, who are, often treated less important.
So, what do we say about this? Even if you do not pursue a career in the STEM field, you are still perfect. You want to be a musician? A graphic artist? Or a writer? Then, go! Follow those dreams of yours. You do you!
We get to have a beautiful world because of music. We get to have an enjoyable moment with our family because of a well-decorated restaurant. We get to meet people with deep stories that later on inspire us to be the better version of ourselves. Indeed, it is frustrating that we are forced to conform to society’s judgments and standards. But this should not be the case — never. We should have the liberty to enjoy the world no matter who and what we are because life is not only about one’s job or career choice. Break the mold, you are perfect.
"Indeed, it is frustrating that we are forced to conform to society’s judgments and standards. But this should not be the case — never."
The Not-So-Artsy You
In the section above, we learned the people’s perception about those who are in the STEM field. We also established that we should not really look at the field per se and at how glorified it is in the world that prioritizes it through the establishments of different institutions.
Want to know what’s cool though? People who are not inclined towards the arts side are often embarrassed for not being, well, “artsy.” Ask them to draw a human and they will give you a stick figure. Ask them to draw a good scenery and you will get two mountains, rising sun in the middle, a farm, a house, and an irrigation system. But is that valid?
No, it is not just valid but perfect.
“But why?”, you may ask.
The answer is simple. Just as not being enough in STEM is still perfect in itself, not being “artsy” enough is also perfect in all senses. By this time, we know that you already figured it out, so let us articulate it as plain as day, “you can’t have it all.” We all have our strengths and weaknesses, but those weaknesses are not forms of imperfection. Besides, you can enjoy the arts without being so “good” at it, right? Break the mold, weaknesses make you a perfect human being.
Fate and Faith
Nobody understands this better than those who are in the church. They are taught that every human being is bound to sin one way or another. To them, only the LORD is perfect. To be exact, He is righteous and has no blemishes. And by this, they can never do anything to fulfill their shortcomings. Only the LORD can save them.
Of course, they acknowledge that people experience a lot of “bad” events in life like accidents, robbery, and even the sudden death of a loved one. To them, those are parts of the perfect plan of God. Well, we can never say that they are wrong. In the first place, they believe that those are but just normal. And at best, we can see considerable results like stronger faith and a more righteous way of living.
What does it say then when some of their church members experience depression? Does it mean that they have weak faith?
The truth is, a lot of churchgoers do not agree that there really is depression. They only think of this as a small problem involving weak faith — and that is just plain ridiculous.
A proper person of faith would recognize that depression happens outside the church, often because of the pressure that never involves faith in the first place. Fortunately, it seems like a greater number of churchgoers understand that depression is real and that it in no way defines a believer or a follower.
A study by Christopher C. H. Hook in 2020 says that “In Christ, God shares in the kinds of suffering that we call mental illnesses.” This shows that a Christian CAN experience depression and other mental illnesses, regardless of the depth of faith.
So, if you belong to the side of the conservatives who condemn believers who experience depression, it is time to break free from the chains that bind you. Try to understand that people of faith are still susceptible to problems outside the spiritual sense. Break the mold, you can start the change in your community.
"So, if you belong to the side of the conservatives who condemn believers who experience depression, it is time to break free from the chains that bind you."
And if you are the one experiencing depression, always remember that there are people who are ready to help. You can always seek a professional, one without judgment and contempt. Break the mold. You are made imperfect, but you do not have to deal with depression alone.
My Body, Your Say
If you remember Alexa Ilacad opening up about her body weight ever since joining the showbiz industry, then you are familiar with Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD). According to the Anxiety & Depression Association of America, people with BDD “think about their real or perceived flaws for hours each day.”
But what made Alexa Ilacad think this way? Straightforward, our society.
“All I've been hearing is ang taba mo, magpapayat ka...wala kang project kasi mataba ka,” may be the most excruciating statement to hear from a person in the industry. For her, no one can ever make her think that she is enough, not even Justin Bieber.
To make this worse, this is not an isolated case. A lot of us feel the need to lose or gain weight just because people say so. A lot of us need to change our diet because our friends tell us that we have been eating either too much or too little. Many stare at the mirror for hours, figuring out how we can change our form the fastest way to not experience any more body shaming. We do not know why people must dictate our sizes, but we follow them anyway.
We understand the concerns of staying healthy, yes, but we cannot assess a person’s health by just looking at the physique.
If you want to tell a person to stay healthy, do it the proper way, not by hurting them and causing them to doubt themselves.
While it is hard to say, all this article wants to imply is that you are perfect. You do not have to listen to people every time. And no matter what they say, a lot of people are like you — they are only doing their best to combat this very dangerous notion about one’s body size and shape.
Again, break the mold, go flaunt your beauty.
One thing that this article can tell you is to surround yourself with positivity.
But please, do not mistake this as toxic positivity. What we want to tell you is that what makes you a perfect human being is your imperfection. That every human being has their own insecurities, and we experience life problems.
Every human being is like you. Yes, like you.
So, if a relationship is draining the best out of you, consider dumping it. If a job makes you doubt yourself and not helping you grow, then maybe it is best to consider quitting. If an environment makes you feel anxious, then, by all means, consider leaving. Do things that make you happy, leave the negativities, and focus on healing.
But always remember that you are still bound by what is right and just, even if you are perfect. Above self-empowerment, we must make sure that we do not trample down other people. As cliché as it may sound, we must always follow the golden rule.
“Do not do unto others what you do not want others to do unto you.”
And now, we believe that you are set. Go and break the mold, you are perfect just the way you are.
Graphics by: Sofia Vinuya
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