“Ako kasi as a person, very nurturing and organized ako because I do not want na masira yung something na ginagawa ko. That’s why as much as possible, lagi kong binibigay ‘yong best ko para lang maayos ‘yong mga bagay-bagay. Ganoon din sa glass, hindi ba? Iniingatan natin ‘yon para hindi siya mabasag, hindi siya magkaroon [ng] crack.”
Similar to a child taping his candy bag to keep them away from ants or just as how a hopeless romantic would carefully slide a letter in a bottle before letting it flow in the ocean, Isagani Caspe sealed his heart and dreams in a tightly-closed glass jar in hopes that they will remain whole and college heartache-free throughout his university life.
Cautious and sensitive like a first-time driver, the college freshman attempted to protect his aspirations by working hard, constantly shielding himself from the stones of failures and rejections. Glass, however, is always bound to be broken, especially if it’s placed on the tipping edge.
Isagani’s first heartbreak was neither about romantic relationships nor unreciprocated feelings of affection. The one that made his heart heavy and caused him to shed tears is something we can all relate to — college trials.
Everyone’s Golden Son and Student
Isagani grew up in an embracing household. He has a stable support system that puts no pressure on him in achieving great heights. With much sincerity, he narrated how his family has always been reassuring and supportive of what he wanted to be, providing him everything necessary to live his dreams.
Yet, Isagani admitted that his greatest nemesis was himself, bearing within him the responsibility to succeed as he desires to help in solving the family’s growing expenses.
“Growing up sa family na walang padre de pamilya, there’s actually a pressure na parang ikaw yung aasahan nila. So, parang ako talaga ‘yong kumukuha ng pressure, sa akin lahat nabunton ‘yong pressure na parang I need to graduate early, I need to study hard. Actually that’s one of my motivations for studying hard because I know there’s a lot of pressure na bitbit ko on my shoulder kasi ako nalang ‘yong aasahan ng family.”
His statements shed a light on why Isagani needs his heart intact — he carries with him the dreams of his family. His college heartaches are everyone else’s heartache. With a warm and loving voice, the golden son proudly stated how he wants to be like his mother when his turn to provide comes.
“As a person, gusto kong gayahin ‘yong Mama ko na kaya niyang ibigay ‘yong mga needs ng anak niya. Kaya niyang maging father and mother both.”
Surmising, Isagani’s glass bubble does not only bear his ambitions; he also holds the hope of his home which became his primary reason for being an achiever. As he transitioned and moved places, the golden son soon became the golden student.
College and the Cracks on the Glass
Clad in a clean white shirt and a combination of navy blue and red checkered flannel, the 18-year-old Isagani clutched his pounding heart in his chest as he entered the university gates. The determined young adult had a vision of what he wanted to be. He was entirely prepared to seize every chance he would get, and present all his aces like what he did back in High School.
Isagani is a jack-of-all-trades — an articulated speaker, a brilliant video editor, a meticulous layout artist, and a born-to-be leader. However, the confident communication student that everyone knows today was not the same years ago.
The now 21-year-old Isagani recalled how he used to be an introvert during the first two years of High School. He used to be the timid student seated at the back of the class, with only a few words to utter for an entire day. He only started to reclaim himself in his third year, and from then on, he built a reputation for himself — the same persona he presented in college.
However, the jack-of-all-trades golden student lost his glow as he faced a series of heartbreaks within the walls of the university. He has presented all his aces, but none worked thus far. The glass bubble he was working so hard to protect had its first crack, then the next, and then many more after.
He knew right then that he could no longer keep his glass unharmed, and he intends to extend these bits of advice to all who are about to open the college doors.
These are supposed to be for incoming college students. But since we’re inclusive, we’ll just leave a heads up: For college students reading this article, these steps might not be the answer to your already shattered hearts, but they may help you find the broken pieces back together. Thus, read still until the end.
College Heartaches Cure 1: Find a Nurturing Circle of Friends
Isagani was exposed to a competitive environment in High School. This is the reason why he was surprised as he met individuals who were generous and genuinely concerned about everyone’s well-being. In college, there is no competition — only harmony and solidarity. This was when he realized that “college is not a race.”
"In college, there is no competition — only harmony and solidarity. This was when he realized that “college is not a race.”
You need to find the people who will help you grow and will push you through the finish line. Those who will stay with you through your most heart-clenching moments, and those who will be there to help you put the pieces back together.
As Isagani advises: Treat your blocmates and batchmates as your teammates — your allies in discovering this whole new chapter of your life. So, always be willing to lend a hand and to offer your knowledge and skills selflessly. As for sure, they, too, shall do the same.
College Heartaches Cure 2: Do Not Dwell on your Mistakes for a Long Time
Isagani painfully recalled his first college heartache — he failed his first long examination. “Kapapasok mo pa lang, bubungad sa‘yo ito, tapos bagsak ka agad. ‘Yon agad ‘yong kultura na haharap sa‘yo.”
While Isagani acknowledges that sulking and feeling down is valid, he, however, chooses to not dwell on it for a long time. There is, after all, no point in crying over spilled milk for so long. And thus, even if Isagani would shed a tear or two, he would always make sure that he would get up, wipe his tears, reappraise the problem, and then find other means to compensate for his loss.
“Kapag bumagsak ka, alangan naman na nandun ka lang, nasa baseline ka lang, na bagsak na bagsak? So, I find a way,” Isagani expounded.
Ultimately, what this is trying to say is that in college, we have to learn how to pick ourselves up and try again as there will be plenty of opportunities to ace your exam and/or to nail that presentation. College, anyway, is four-year-long (or even more for some).
College Heartaches Cure 3: Preparation is Essential
May it be a performance or a short quiz, it is always advantageous to come prepared. Show up on time and make sure that you have all you need.
Unfortunately, Isagani had to learn this the hard way as he regretfully narrated how unsatisfied he was about his performance in one of his major subjects. No matter how skillful you are, all will be lost when you come unprepared.
"No matter how skillful you are, all will be lost when you come unprepared."
Hence, it is vital to prepare ahead to ensure higher chances of better results. As Isagani recalled, it is critical to remember that 70% comes from the preparation, and only 30% goes to the performance.
College Heartaches Cure 4: Work Smart
Among the many college heartaches that Isagani faced, there is one that claimed the top spot.
“I had to hold back my tears until the class was over,” with pain and bitterness in his tone, Isagani shared the story of how he realized that working hard does not always amount to satisfying results.
This was when he learned the value of working smart. And by this, he meant knowing when to move and when to take a rest. Isagani came to realize the crucial role of taking a break and giving yourself some room for improvement.
“Hindi mo lang dapat lagi pine-pressure ‘yong sarili mo na kailangan may output ka each day. Kasi, part of our progress is ‘yong pagpapahinga rin, kasi when you rest, naf-freshen up ‘yong ideas mo,” Isagani noted.
As Note. posted on social media, “Magpahinga ka muna, pagkatapos, magpatuloy ka ulit.”
College Heartaches Cure 5: Recognize that Making Mistakes is Uncontrollable
While mistakes make a significant portion of the overall amount of our heartaches, one can actually use it as a vantage point to assess where he/she needs to improve him/herself more.
Suppose one looks at mistakes using a different lens and sees them as unavoidable happenings — a natural part of life’s cycle — and not a sign of failure. In doing so, one is allowing him/herself to breathe. As Isagani positively remarked, “it opens the idea na hindi sa‘yo umiikot ang mundo, na hindi palaging achiever ka.”
University life will expose you to various people and diverse perspectives, and it will make you realize that sometimes what you believe in is not entirely the truth. That your beliefs are sometimes mistaken, and that what you believe before as right, is not always the most proper.
As you acknowledge that these mistakes are not really adverse outcomes, you become more receptive to the ideas of growth.
"As you acknowledge that these mistakes are not really adverse outcomes, you become more receptive to the ideas of growth."
Putting Back the Broken Pieces of Glass Bubble
Isagani Caspe.
We know him as the leader ng bayan, the 2021 Youth Leadership Excellence Awardee, and the jack-of-all-trades. Yet today, we learned that he did not become the talented person he is in an instant. That behind every notable achievement he has received are college heartaches that he had to endure, and a damaged glass bubble that he worked so hard to protect and mend back.
While he was able to handle the heartaches that college life brought him, there remain hints of pain for every quiz and exam score that did not make it to the cut. Yet, he recognizes that they are all part of the college experience, which, as ironically as it may seem, can help him in putting the shattered pieces of his glass heart back.
The glue into putting the pieces back is not easy to find, and they can never be bought nor borrowed; they can only be earned through consistent perseverance. At one point, just like the rest of us, he wavered and doubted himself. However, if he immediately stopped pursuing, he would never know what he would be missing in college. So, he decided to move forward. He doesn’t care whether he would have to run, walk, or crawl, he just wants to take everything slowly and put them in perspective.
Graphics by: Sofia Vinuya
Comments